Croft's Comments

Q: The people need to know, what are the five best films of the year so far?

A: Credit for these responses goes to Abdul Zlitni — Applecino on Letterboxd. Considering how terrible I have been at doing movie reviews this year, I figured I had to consult the most professional movie critic I personally know. 

1. “One Battle After Another.” Good double feature with "Eddington."

2. “Sinners.” Good double feature with "28 Years Later."

3. “Friendship.” Good double feature with "Eephus."

4. “Ballad of Wallis Island.” Good double feature with "The Life of Chuck."

5. “Black Bag.” Good double feature with “The Phoenician Scheme.”

Q: Greetings Mr. Comments, 

Coming back to campus has been a whirlwind. Something that’s been on my mind recently is a friend I had this spring. We connected immediately and explored the city a lot together. I haven’t hung out or heard from said friend all summer. I tried reaching out a couple times but to no avail. I was considering making a phone call, but I don't want to cross any boundaries or make anything weird. Any wise words?

A: Sometimes in life, we have friends for only brief moments. They leave an impact unlike any other you have experienced, but it is brief, and not meant to be prolonged. Be happy for the good times; do not wallow in the bad times. Chances are, one day you will reconnect. Friendships are often like that — they come and go and return later in life.

Q: How would a student get in contact with the newspaper to write an article?

A: Email our Executive Editor Hannah Dillon at editor@thenorthernlight.org or our Managing Editor Kaitlyn Gaub at managing.editor@thenorthernlight.org.

Q: Dining hall plates are getting smaller? Want someone to blame? Blame the ******* ******* who work in dining hall administration.

A: Do you have a solution to recommend?

Q: My dorm toilet is clogged. What should I do?

A: Well, it has been a few weeks since I got this comment. I hope you managed to find out the most sanitary solution to the problem, but in case you haven't, I recommend buying a plunger. If it is a really bad problem, you can submit a maintenance work order and have a professional look at the problem.

Q: How many shrimp do you think you could eat after a night at the blue fox?

A: 100. Easily.

Q: What’s going on in and around Anchorage this fall? Any fall festivals or shows?

A: October holds a ton of opportunities in Anchorage. For starters, the Anchorage Museum has free admission on Indigenous Peoples' Day. 49th State Brewing is hosting their annual pumpkin patch event every weekend throughout October. The Botanical Garden will be hosting their 'BOOtanical' garden event. Fright Night Haunted House will be making another return to the Midway Mall this year. Because we live in Alaska, you can always make an attempt to go out and see the northern lights. Or if it's too cloudy or you are too cold, be sure to check the UAA Planetarium schedule to see if there are any shows you might like? There are always live musicians performing at bars around town too, if that's more your vibe.

Q: I’m kind of down bad for you. Are you single? 👀

A: I am not. I actually just got engaged!

Q: How do I get fake blood out of my carpet? It's definitely fake.

A: Assuming that the blood is absolutely fake — and definitely not real — blot the stain to get all of the surface "blood" off of the top of the carpet. Then soak the area several times with equal parts white vinegar and water. Vinegar works great for rust, so I assume it works for anything rust colored. This question is very topical considering all of the Halloween accidents that are bound to happen. 

Q: Which major has the most attractive students?

A: From our Managing Editor Kaitlyn Gaub — "Nursing, because all of the assholes from high school who were hot and rich went on to become nurses."

Q: What is the greatest Halloween costume of all time?

A: The answer to this is entirely subjective. I feel like the biggest cliche for a Halloween costume could be the sexy nurse or sexy police officer trope. Because of the success of these outfits, I feel like they might be regarded as the best costume of all time. My personal opinion is that a sheet with holes cut in it to be a ghost costume is hands down the best. It is affordable, entry level, entertaining, provides complete anonymity and is comfortable for the wearer. 

Q: Would you fuck a ghost? Would you fuck a ghost? Would you fuck a ghost? 

A: Is this a ghost asking me this by chance? Or a parrot?

Q: What is the best episode of “The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror”? 

A: The top ranked “Treehouse of Horror” is "Treehouse of Horror V" which aired in season six, and I would have to second that notion, considering the parody of “The Shining.” 

Q: What do you do if you really have to pee late at night in the MAC apartments and your roommate is taking a suspiciously long shower, what should you do? One bathroom is a curse.

A: Knock on your neighbors door and see if they can be a generous host. I would recommend going to the Gorsuch Commons, but we as students don't seem to be allowed to access areas we pay for, unless it is on the University's schedule. Alternatively, piss-bucket?

Q: The minute fall and spooky season hits, what’s the go-to Halloween movie? 

A: Personally, I have somewhat of a tradition of watching the original 1979 "Halloween" and then carrying on into the trilogy of "Halloween" films that began in 2018. 

Q: Favorite Taylor Swift album? 

A: I do not like Taylor Swift, but if I absolutely had to provide an answer, I would say whichever album features the song "Our Song."