Sex and the Seawolf: Love, sports and stuff

Illustration by Casey Kleeb

Imagine yourself cuddling with your partner. You two are watching your favorite soap opera or TV show. For me, I’d be watching “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

Suddenly, the game comes on.  It doesn’t even matter what game. Sports seasons vary throughout the year, so there never really is a time when you can catch a break from it. Whether it is basketball, football or baseball, it is always the same result: Your partner’s focus goes from you to the team.

Girls, you probably have this occur to you most often if you are dating a sports jock.  His bros come in through the door without even knocking. Chips and salsa just happen to be strapped to their arms. Soda begins to fly everywhere. The sound of popping cans becomes a symphony of sporty testosterone. You have now fallen in to a zone where you just become the arm candy.

Rest assured, not all guys just completely ignore you like that. But, in the event you become strapped in a situation like the one just described, the following advice may help.

Get to know the sport your partner is so crazy in love with. You don’t need to know everything about it, just the basics. You won’t be able to whip out an entire history of winning baseball teams, recite the NBA coaches from the past ten years or even know the difference between NFL and college football.

Instead, simply make a comment that is relevant and understandable during the wild action of the game. It is simple but truly impressive. Things you can master are general game terms, rules and regulations and names of famous players. You can always just Google the most popular player in the specific sport. Also, do not be afraid to just ask if you don’t understand something. Just make sure you don’t ask during an adrenaline-filled moment of anticipation. Do it during halftime.

Always remember that the same sports situation you are in is the same kind of situation your partner was probably in while you were watching your soaps — or for me, “Ellen.” He is there for you when you watch them, and you should do the same.

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Even if he isn’t so invested in your soaps, you should still take the first step and try to understand his sport. Maybe he will realize the effort you are putting in and do the same later on.

Just learn how to adapt. Do your research. The situation doesn’t even have to relate to sports games. It could be about plays, video games or even chess. If you like your partner, then he or she deserves at least an effort — something surprising may even come from it.