I should have known dating someone who behind his back was nicknamed the “Red Rocket” by mutual friends would never turn into anything substantially dependable, but I was hooked nonetheless.
I met “Daniel” at a mutual friend’s birthday extravaganza, during a time which I had no intentions of meeting anyone. Ah, such is the case of timing, right? I had just gotten out a long-term, tumultuous relationship and was in no state of desire to begin another, but there he was, prime for the picking.
Daniel was coincidentally in the same situation as I—also recently single after a riotous relationship and also in the mindset of embracing his newfound freedom. However, both us of were previously drawn to monogamous relationships as opposed to one night stands. So we took the plunge and attempted to have one; unfortunately, this did not sit well in the mind of Daniel.
He played games, pushing and pulling me around all summer until finally neither of us could handle it any longer (him with the guilt of being an asshole and me with the infuriation of suddenly lacking a backbone) and we inevitably ended our “relationship.”
However, due to having mutual friends, we were somewhat forced into continuing to be around each other at social gatherings despite any motivation to otherwise.
Eventually after my infatuation and irritation towards Daniel subsided and a slow but sure “friendship” began to grow between us. How much of the physical attraction we still had toward each other actually played a part in this, however, I will never know.
Since neither of us wanted to be a participant in a functioning monogamous relationship and also did not want to go slumming about town to satisfy our sexual needs, we (or I should clarify, I) hatched a plan to engage in a “friends with benefits” relationship.
Since we both had previously slept with each other, we figured there wouldn’t be any need for games and/or figuring out the wants of the other person—it was a win all/take all scenario for the individual: no flowers, no hooking up with other people unless the other person was told beforehand, no post-coitus cuddling or phone calls, no love.
I also made it clear to him that since we did in fact share mutual friends, neither of us were allowed to disclose the arrangement we had made. This was more to save my own face for concocting such a ridiculous scheme, and also for the sake of avoiding awkwardness amongst our friend group.
We only successfully managed to rendezvous one time and unfortunately our arrangement was broken the very next day by the Rocket’s wandering eye—to a much younger female and during a party that I had in fact attended and witnessed their hook up.
Suffice to say, the idea of “friends with benefits,” however ingenious it may appear at the time, is a scenario that will more than likely leave one participating party with a feeling of remorse and/or angst against the other—someone is eventually going to get burned.