No time like the present to learn to skate

If you're not necessarily interested in learning how to ice skate but just want to stay alive one more day on this icy sphere, try the following tips:

1. For footwear, try “creepers” or “clampers”: they consist of metal frames with spikes that you attach to your shoes or boots to prevent slippage.

2. Say you forgot your creepers or clampers at home. Well, there's no time like the present to go with the flow. Don't fight it. Plant your feet firmly and evenly on the ground, relax your hips and do like the boarders — skate.

3. Wear padding. If you don't have any, try Play It Again Sports or any second-hand store for hockey pads. (Purchasing brand-new padding is not necessary.)

4. Sometimes it just helps to know that you're not alone. Duke University in North Carolina has had 10 slip and fall injuries with broken jaws, noses and clavicles — ouch! Be glad if your injuries aren't that bad.

5. Play “Slipping Through The Ice (Intro),” Symphonic Electronica on your CD player as you walk.

6. The Duke University newspaper, The Chronicle, reported that some of its slip and fall accidents were alcohol related. Be glad no one is out in the UAA parking lot with a breathalyzer test.

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7. Walk on the snow and not on the ice whenever possible, but remember, sometimes the snow is simply a camouflage for more ice.

8. Remember, even skating stars hit the ice after slipping the Champions Series finals and other competitions. When you are dying of embarrassment, at least you can be happy you are not a professional skater.

9. Shorten your stride to maintain your center of balance. Putting your arms out to increase your “grounded area” and bending your knees is optional.

10. Walk like a duck — with your feet pointed slightly outward, creating a stable base. Seriously. This is highly recommended. Still, darn few college students would be willing to try it.