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“Fifty Shades:” The Slug Review

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde I am a true monster. An amoral, sick, twisted monster. One of the most abhorrent, evil beings on the...

Anger and paranoia: A public transit story

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde I laugh at your methods of transportation. We have great warships that travel at light-speed, and what do you humans...

Valentine’s, and the sexuality of the slug

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Let's break from discussing culture and entertainment and instead talk about slug biology, shall we? I mean, it's certainly the...

The many follies of Windows 10

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde So... Windows 10 happened, didn't it. Who even needs computers, anyway? That's the wonder of having a hive mind, like...

Je Suis Satire

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde Let's start on a serious note. This is George typing out of character. Seawolf Slug is a satirical column,...

Why was ‘The Interview’ so successful?

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde I've seen the world! I've been to the concrete jungles of Manhattan, the actual jungles of Brazil, the beauty...

Seawolf Slug: Ebola: What me, worry?

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde I saw a picture on Facebook that summed up my opinions on this whole Ebola thing quite nicely: “More Americans...

Seawolf Slug: Gaming in 2014: Or, the tragedy of hype

Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) 2012. George watched the live feed of Ubisoft's fateful presentation with a twinkle in his eye. A new sandbox game where...

Sleep and the collegiate brain

In the year 2013, an alien brain slug from one of the galaxy's most feared empires crash-landed on Earth and assumed control of a...

Here we go again.

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Here I am, sitting on George's head as he types my thoughts. It's 1:42 in the morning, and neither...

Worshipping Whedon

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde Looking back at George's last film reviews over the past year, it's clear that he's a bit of a...

Can stupidity and intelligence coexist?

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde During George's sick streak, he, like any good man these days, decided to lie in bed and marathon a...

Electronic Entertainment Expectations

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde George has become hilariously sick again. I mean, seriously, I'd almost feel sorry for the guy if he didn't...

Let’s talk about DRM

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde As you may have read in his game review this week, George had quite a lot of difficulties getting...

The mosquito menace

Well, I was feeling pretty great about the Slug Empire's arrival a couple centuries from now. But now I feel as if there's a...

Rites of passage

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   “Okay, Klax. You win. I'll stash you in my suitcase in the cargo area above the seat. Just don't...

War strategies for finals

Well, men, this is it. The final, decisive battle. Your GPA hangs in the balance. This has been a long, grueling war, and the...

This smoking debate is insane

Okay, so let's talk about the smoking thing. On one end, the “Smoke-Free UAA” campaign wants to end smoking on campus, leading to a healthier...

Seawolf Slug: Why is cyberpunk interesting?

Over spring break (the incredibly boring and dull spring break, as outlined in last issue's column), George indulged himself in two of his favorite...

Easy on the Lower 48, Alaska!

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Now that I think about it, Anchorage is the only place that I've ever been on Earth. It's the...

Net Neutrality and why people should care about it

One thing I’ve learned about George over these past few weeks since the Net Neutrality ruling is that whenever technology or arts are threatened...

Seawolf Slug: We can’t handle real-life violence

Being a journalism major, George has to put up with a lot of crap from news outlets regarding his favorite hobby, gaming. He is constantly told by major news networks that his hobby has turned him into a blood-loving, misogynistic sociopath ready to massacre any school, movie theater or other venue of people gathering en masse.

Seawolf Slug: What exactly is a ‘game’?

As you could probably tell from the headline, a strange question has been wracking George’s brain for a few years. Several games such as “Journey,” “Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons,” and this issue’s review, “Continue?9876543210,” have tested the limits of what it really means to be a video game.

Seawolf Slug: Getting back in the swing of things

George cannot sleep. No, I’m serious. I’m taking advantage of the fact that he’s up at 3:30 in the morning unable to sleep in order to have him translate this into writing. But the holiday break has done something terrible to my host.

Seawolf Slug: Finally, some rest

So now we come to the end of it. Exams. Projects. Procrastinated studies. Massive parties over the weekend that immediately follows. They’re the signs of a waning semester. And alas, they’re the signs of a lack of articles from me and my minion George.

Seawolf Slug: Learning to welcome the jam

Apparently this thing known as the “Great Alaska Shootout” is coming up, and the campus is abuzz about it. George says he couldn’t care less about sports, but the truth is, we see and appreciate sports everywhere.

Seawolf Slug: The Bechdel Test, and why you humans should take note

Before I begin this article, I should point out one thing: We slugs are mono-gender and asexual. There’s no boy, girl, man or woman. There is only slug.

Seawolf Slug: Alaskans can’t hear Oscar buzz

It’s a difficult time to be an Alaskan film lover. Commercials, ads, trailers and accolades are flying left and right for films like “Dallas Buyers Club.” They feature big-name actors in career-defining roles, telling complex, smart and tough stories. They’re showcases of how a fine film should be done.

Seawolf Slug: It’s still too early for the holidays

Back in the early days of my friendship with George — that is to say, last month or so — he took me on a trip to Costco to run some errands. As he walked through the many aisles, I saw a bunch of nice, pretty, colorful lights surrounding festive animals and a fat man in a red and white coat. I asked in bewilderment what these wonderful things were, and George groaned and told me it was all about Christmas.

Seawolf Slug: The abyss gazes also into you

In the spirit of Halloween, let me just say this: I am one of the most horrifying monsters in existence. No, really, I am. I am an alien monster who (occasionally) robs George of his free will and makes him do my bidding. He is a slave to me. And whenever I need or want his assistance, there’s no way he can disobey me.