Hello ladies. I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday season. Today we are going to take our hats off to the male population. They deserve it. Most of them have always wondered what makes women tick, but others have gone beyond that. They have taken measures to find out.
I don't know if you have seen the new Mel Gibson movie, “What Women Want,” but it is a great movie to see with your partner. It is not sappy like most would think from the trailers. It is funny and allows us a chance to laugh at ourselves while being educated. The movie just reaffirms the fact that men want to know what we want. So much so that they are attending seminars, reading books, buying tapes and taking classes on the subject.
I had several men tell me during registration that they read this column and that they enjoy it. I am always blown away and humbled by that, but I don't get tired of hearing it. I like knowing that they care enough about their present relationships or future relationships to read what I have to say. I don't claim to know it all, and I don't have a degree in sociology or psychology. However, I have met and spoken with a lot of women in the last 20 years. I write from what I have read, what I have heard and from my own personal experience.
Ladies, now that you have men's attention, what are you going to do with it? The best thing to do is answer their questions and be open and honest. Women do not belong to a secret society with secrets that cannot be divulged. Face it, men are not mind readers and, if we want to have better relationships with them, we had better start telling them what they need to know.
Most of us say that what we want is easy and it should be common sense. Well, that is a lie if I ever heard one. What women want differs from woman to woman and can be very complicated. I want a hard working Christian man, who can love me and our children unconditionally, whereas someone else may want a man who gets sexually gratified by beating her.
If you really think about it, only you know what you want. There is no blanket statement that says what we all want because we all have different values and desires. So take the guess work out of the situation, and tell him what he needs to know about you. When doing so, leading experts say that you should be specific. For example: If you want acknowledgement on Valentine's Day, tell him. But don't leave it like that because he could wake up and say “Happy Valentine's Day.” Technically he has done what you asked and you have no right to be upset with him.
What you should have said was, "I would like to be acknowledged on Valentine's Day in the following way….” and leave it to him to make your toes curl.
When you tell him exactly what you want and how you feel, he knows what to expect. If your wants change, tell him right away. Don't expect him to automatically know.
Men are doing their part in trying to bridge the gap between us. What are you doing to help them? My last bit of advice on this subject is for you to thank your man and acknowledge his efforts in trying to bring you closer together. By the way, you may want to find out what makes him tick also!
`Til next week, be safe.