Lets take a journey back in time. Not back too far, just April of this past year.
It’s the Friday before finals week and I sat in my nighty shorts and cream-colored tank top, beneath my boyfriend’s white down comforter reading F. Scott Fitzgerald’s, “This Side of Paradise.”
He had just finished a final that was due the following Monday and decided it was time to relax. He slid LA Noir into his PS3 and began to play his detective job in a fantasy world.
Two hours later, I laid down my book with something far from the 1920’s era on my mind.
Now, before we get started on what was really on my mind think about the fact that this is the 21stcentury. A century that glorifies sex scandals (any rag magazine you pick up,) teenage pregnancy (Teen Mom,) girl fights (Bad girls clubs,) and drinking until you fight, sleep around, and or vomit (Jersey Shore.)
So it was sex with one particular individual that was on my mind. And there he sat in his tan office chair with his feet on a blue ottoman, with a black controller in his hand.
I made subtle hints that were ignored or just flat out unacknowledged, before being blunt with him. His response went something like this, “But babe, I am playing a game.”
Imagine my disgust when I received that response. Not only disgust with him but with myself as well. Had I let myself go in the last weeks of school? Was it me? The feeling of rejection is never a good one, but to be rejected for a video game crushes self esteem in just seconds.
I rolled over and went to sleep. I had never felt so unattractive in my life.
The next day I went to the gym, then tanning, then to get my eyebrows waxed. I straightened my hair, threw on makeup, and an outfit that showed all the right curves on my body before looking into the mirror and deeming myself ready to go to sushi with my boyfriend.
Once arriving, he never one mentioned anything that I had done specifically for him. Never once.
We went back to the house where we watched a movie, and then nothing. Still nothing.
Finally, I addressed the issue. Was he just not attracted to me anymore?
His response was that he just wanted time to relax. That really didn’t make me feel any better.
Was it possible that after only a few months the fire in our relationship had been put out?
A relationship should be able to function properly without sex, but I thought the relationship was supposed to become sexless after marriage. Not in the first few months.
Since then I have found the solution to my problem. Even though we are together, there still needs to be a slight game of cat and mouse. There still needs to be a chase because it is true, both men and women want what they can’t have. The thrill of the hunt is what people become attracted to.
I find that if I only show slight interest and ignore a few of his subtle hints that he will want me even more.
Is this wrong? Maybe, but every relationship works a little different, right?