Last week, I introduced my stand on the issue of “man” and let readers know what to expect from me in the future. Now, I can get down to business. I would like to illustrate a way of living by telling a story I recently heard.
A friend of mine was at a party where a girl and a guy were obviously fighting. The nature of the fight was not disclosed but it seemed the two were a couple.
At one point, the guy got mad and lost control of his emotions. He began pouring a can of beer on the girl. He did not explain his actions to the girl or to the group. My friend said the guy was not doing it for fun. He crumpled the empty can in a rage and threw it at the girl's face.
While I was disgusted by this story, I was not surprised. Disrespectful punks like the guy at the party are a dime a dozen. Guys like this are the reason why women don't trust men. This kind of action shows a total lack of respect for everything around you, including beer.
First of all, if you respect yourself and others, you do not communicate with aggression and humiliation. Dealing with problems by dominating others is classic for sissy boys who have something to prove. Men are members of their world who engage situations with self-control, not others-control. Addressing other people without respect shows a simple lack of respect for yourself and the world around you. You give no respect; you get no respect.
I suggest you try a respect check. Ask yourself a few questions.
1. Is what I am doing displaying self respect?
2. Is what I am doing respectful to others?
3. Does my behavior display a clear example of how I expect to be respected by others?
The answers you receive may help you to better see what direction you are headed in. If it looks like you are going to be a “beer can bomber” like our aforementioned friend, change your behavior before it is too late.
Respect is a mutual thing, but it starts with you. Display the respect you expect to receive and your world will change accordingly; I promise. Finally, respect is more than a mask we wear; it is a way of life. As far as this Mann is concerned, it is the only way.
Dear Mr. Mann,
I cheated on my girlfriend, and I don't know what to do. I love her, and I know I made a huge mistake. How do I fix it? I don't want to ruin this good thing. Can you help?
Dear Beyond Help,
You are a jackass. Stamp it on your forehead. I suggest you get a Chris Rock video and listen to what he has to say on this topic. You can't cheat!! You know why I am saying this; because you are feeling the pain it causes right now, it is not worth the trouble. You have already ruined a good thing.
At this point, the damage has only begun. You can minimize injury, but it can't be prevented. Things will never be the same. Unfortunately, I can't solve this problem for you. I can offer you some advice that may help you get through the trouble you have created.
First of all the fact that you would cheat should tell you where this relationship is headed. Bottom line, you should not be in a relationship. There may have been a time when a relationship was right for you, but right now is not that time. I suggest you let go of this one until you know exactly what you want, and what you are willing to do to get it.
You have compromised the relationship, and neither of you will ever forget it. It will haunt you. She will never think of you the same again. This Mann says get out of this relationship now and never do this again. It may hurt you but it will be easier, trust me. Who knows, the separation may wake you up to a new reality and a profound respect for love and relationship. Then, maybe you could revisit your commitment at a later date, when you have looked up the word commitment and understood the definition.
If you have any questions for me, e-mail them to me at [email protected] .