As set down in the Indisputable Woman Code, in order to be found attractive, a man must be as swift as a coursing river, have all the force of a great typhoon, all the strength of a raging fire, and be mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Which of course means he must be able to piss like a racehorse, sweep away coastal villages with a single breath, spontaneously burst into fire, and be mysterious as a cash-guzzling blockbuster Michael Bay film with a bunch of warring robots and a Megan Fox eye-candy replacement.
High standards, ladies. But not to worry. I know quite a few single men who enjoy the Transformers movies. And quite a few more who could easily knock a cluster of coastal huts flat with their gas-passing abilities. And as a bonus, I happen to know one guy who recently passed a kidney stone, therefore fulfilling the powerful urine stream and being on fire requirements all in one!
So breathe easy girls. Or rather, probably hold your breath instead, because that gas really does linger.
And on that note, happy romancing!