Jimmer Fredette is the two-guard for the ninth ranked Brigham Young Cougars, and from here on out, he will only be referred to as The Jimmer.
Here’s looking at you, Seinfeld heads.
The Jimmer is averaging 26 points, four dimes, three rebounds, and one pickpocket a game.
Numbers don’t tell The Jimmer’s story, though.
The fact that The Jimmer waltzed into the Thomas & Mack Center and posted 39 on UNLV’s forehead isn’t a big deal—it’s how he posted it that is.
An analogy that might sum up The Jimmer’s case for POTY: Mickey Rourke at the 2009 Oscars. Maybe Sean Penn did out act him (for the sake of the analogy, try your hardest to imagine Rourke getting out acted), but Penn didn’t show up looking fly as hell in an all white suit.
Jared Sullinger (Ohio State’s freshman phenom, who is in the mix for the award) arrives in a single-breasted tux. The Jimmer drives a segway down the red carpet, while donning a Johnny Blaze jean suit from 2001.
Can I make it any clearer?
The Jimmer gives you a reason to watch BYU play Mississippi Valley State. The Jimmer delivers in so many different ways—whether he’s gliding elegantly across the court with the grace of a pre-ankle injury Grant Hill, or violently tearing through the lane like Rhino executing a Gore with a basketball attached to his right hand.
Detractors will point out The Jimmer’s inability to go left. So what?
By now defenders are hip to his ways, but The Jimmer is still making them look foolish. It’s like when Kobe gets the ball with time running down in the fourth quarter, whoever is guarding him knows Kobe wants to get to his spot on the left elbow, yet they are unable to stop him from getting there.
So yeah, The Jimmer is a lot like Kobe Bryant.
My favorite moments occur when The Jimmer decides to show the defense zero respect. As a result, five guys are caught looking up at a thirty-foot bomb falling gently into the bottom of the net. It’s those plays that make you wish The Jimmer wasn’t a 6’2” white guy with little chances of making an impact in the league.
But don’t write The Jimmer off. The Jimmer will turn into Liam Neeson’s character from Taken.
The Jimmer will find you.
The Jimmer will then do 47 on your face as if you’re apart of Utah’s backcourt.
Because, like true Seinfeld fans know, The Jimmer holds grudges.