Graduation can change lives, but it doesn’t change love

Stumbling into the real world is not an easy thing to do. I have spent the last four years absolutely dying to get out of college and start my real life. With graduation looming ahead, many seniors are beginning to encounter some of the difficult decisions that come with this transition. To tell you the truth, the real world scared the hell out of me for a while.

Graduation brings up all the questions students are so good at avoiding, like where will you work and how will you support yourself without those nice fat student loans that you actually have to pay back now?

Then come the relationship questions. All of a sudden, the not-too-serious, problem-free relationship has to face up to the intense future questions. What if I move? Should I stay here for him? Are we really supposed to be together?

As my real job search was looking grim, I started toying with the idea of relocation. Although growing up I always thought I wanted to leave Alaska, the last two years have changed my mind. I have made a life for myself in Anchorage that I am happy with, and I’m not quite ready to leave. But without a job, I knew it would be out of the question, so places like Seattle, Denver, Minneapolis and Portland starting entering my Monster.com searches. With these new options, it became necessary to talk with my boyfriend about our possibilities.

All the questions I had not been asking myself started to surface, and the idea of leaving my significant other did not sound appealing at all. So, after bringing it up delicately, I found out that he would . gasp . move with me! That sounded grand, but the idea of living with a man again did not sound that appealing.

When I asked him if we would have to live together if we moved, he was a little hurt by my reluctance. He reasoned that he would be uprooting his whole life here and finding a new job and friends for me, and after that great show of commitment, shouldn’t I take a step to show I was willing to take a plunge too? I agreed with him, but the vision of his 56″ TV in my elegant living room was just too much to deal with. I have lived with men before, and they really can wreak havoc on your pretty little picture-perfect home.

Luckily for me, I finally accepted a job offer in Anchorage, so I no longer have to feel like graduation is impending doom. I can actually look forward to it again. I can also be relieved that I don’t have to thrust my young relationship into a realm it is not ready for and I can enjoy it how it currently is – separately fabulous in our separate houses.

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So did I choose Anchorage for him? I have always been the type to do something to ruin a relationship just to make sure I am not changing my life around for my significant other. Sometimes it is hard to tell why you made a certain decision. There may be a million reasons why, and if a significant other is one of them, then so be it. There is nothing wrong with letting a love interest run its course without pigheadedly throwing it off track with a forced move.