‘Free Wired’ not worth the money

The album sounds like stepping on flaming geese through a synthesizer. That being said, the sound that the album uses is grating, and it reuses hooks throughout every song, almost making the listener want to carve out their brain with the accuracy of a backhoe.

If anyone can get past the first song, which is like ripping off your toe with a pair of pliers, they will be treated to generic pop that sounds like synthesized explosions.

Lyrically, the album is God-awful. Yes, it’s about partying, (which is what the music world is ablaze with,) but it’s horrible. In the song, “Don’t Look Now,” it starts off with the line “I see you texting on your BB, can we exchange?” Seriously, if an Emcee is going to use an acronym, at least make sure it’s a well-known one.

“She Owns the Night” is about a man takes a girl off of the dance floor and whisks her away to his house. He blindfolds her and tells her she can’t see where he lives. He later rescinds the statement, but if anyone likes that kind of near kidnapping, then they can join Ke$ha and her vomiting in various parts of the house.

If this is where modern pop music is going, everyone should stop going to college, start drinking and have wanton sex with women who don’t know their first name, and while they’re at it, they can set fire to geese and record it.