Archive for the ‘Seawolf Slug’ Category

Sleep and the collegiate brain

In the year 2013, an alien brain slug from one of the galaxy’s most feared empires crash-landed on Earth and assumed control of a lowly reporter at this newspaper. These are his stories. A new semester is starting, and regular readers of this column know what that means: sleep issues! Hooray! George is currently typing […]

Seawolf Slug

Here we go again.

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Here I am, sitting on George’s head as he types my thoughts. It’s 1:42 in the morning, and neither he nor I can sleep. I’m feeling this odd sense of deja vu. This was how my last beginning-of-the-semester article started, wasn’t it? Oh, I’m sorry. Most of […]

Seawolf Slug

Worshipping Whedon

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde Looking back at George’s last film reviews over the past year, it’s clear that he’s a bit of a Marvel nut. It’s the closest thing to an ongoing “series” that he’s really into, and just about every Marvel film he’s covered since “The Avengers” has been covered with […]

Seawolf Slug

Can stupidity and intelligence coexist?

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde During George’s sick streak, he, like any good man these days, decided to lie in bed and marathon a series on Netflix. The series in question: “Kill la Kill,” an anime with gratuitous nudity that centers around clothes being evil. George is kind of weird like that. “Kill […]

Seawolf Slug

Electronic Entertainment Expectations

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde George has become hilariously sick again. I mean, seriously, I’d almost feel sorry for the guy if he didn’t get sick so often. And since this means he gets to miss out on that summer vacation I mentioned a few articles ago, I took our plane tickets, traded […]

Seawolf Slug

Let’s talk about DRM

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde As you may have read in his game review this week, George had quite a lot of difficulties getting “Watch_Dogs” to run on his computer. While there is very little entertainment in the Slug empire, and I love the sheer amount of it here on Earth, the “Watch_Dogs” […]

Seawolf Slug

The mosquito menace

Well, I was feeling pretty great about the Slug Empire’s arrival a couple centuries from now. But now I feel as if there’s a creature lurking among us that could easily overthrow us. On Earth, it seems, there are a series of checks and balances that keep some animals from becoming too overpowered. Each animal […]


Rites of passage

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   “Okay, Klax. You win. I’ll stash you in my suitcase in the cargo area above the seat. Just don’t force that kind of thing again. Please!”   Ha! I knew he’d yield. That is his apology letter that I promised to post here in the last issue. […]

War strategies for finals

Well, men, this is it. The final, decisive battle. Your GPA hangs in the balance. This has been a long, grueling war, and the last battle is now upon us! Now it’s time to charge! FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!!! Actually, wait. We shouldn’t be charging in headfirst without some war strategies. I covered some of these at the […]

This smoking debate is insane

Okay, so let’s talk about the smoking thing. On one end, the “Smoke-Free UAA” campaign wants to end smoking on campus, leading to a healthier atmosphere for UAA. On the other, we have smokers who claim that being unable to smoke on campus is an infringement on their rights. Before I begin, let me just […]

Seawolf Slug: Why is cyberpunk interesting?

Over spring break (the incredibly boring and dull spring break, as outlined in last issue’s column), George indulged himself in two of his favorite games and one of his favorite movies: “Deus Ex,” “System Shock 2” and “Blade Runner,” respectively. It took me a while to figure out what these three works have in common, […]

Easy on the Lower 48, Alaska!

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Now that I think about it, Anchorage is the only place that I’ve ever been on Earth. It’s the only experience I’ve had on this planet and with humanity. Aside from the Internet, Anchorage is the only place I’ve ever been, and your people are the only […]

Net Neutrality and why people should care about it

One thing I’ve learned about George over these past few weeks since the Net Neutrality ruling is that whenever technology or arts are threatened by new laws or rulings, he starts becoming an argumentative version of the Incredible Hulk. He may not be able to formulate a witty retort to an argument from the other […]

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: We can’t handle real-life violence

Being a journalism major, George has to put up with a lot of crap from news outlets regarding his favorite hobby, gaming. He is constantly told by major news networks that his hobby has turned him into a blood-loving, misogynistic sociopath ready to massacre any school, movie theater or other venue of people gathering en masse.

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