By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde Now that I think about it, Anchorage is the only place that I’ve ever been on Earth. It’s the only experience I’ve had on this planet and with humanity. Aside from the Internet, Anchorage is the only place I’ve ever been, and your people are the only […]
Archive for the ‘Seawolf Slug’ Category
One thing I’ve learned about George over these past few weeks since the Net Neutrality ruling is that whenever technology or arts are threatened by new laws or rulings, he starts becoming an argumentative version of the Incredible Hulk. He may not be able to formulate a witty retort to an argument from the other […]
Being a journalism major, George has to put up with a lot of crap from news outlets regarding his favorite hobby, gaming. He is constantly told by major news networks that his hobby has turned him into a blood-loving, misogynistic sociopath ready to massacre any school, movie theater or other venue of people gathering en masse.
As you could probably tell from the headline, a strange question has been wracking George’s brain for a few years. Several games such as “Journey,” “Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons,” and this issue’s review, “Continue?9876543210,” have tested the limits of what it really means to be a video game.
George cannot sleep.
No, I’m serious. I’m taking advantage of the fact that he’s up at 3:30 in the morning unable to sleep in order to have him translate this into writing. But the holiday break has done something terrible to my host.
So now we come to the end of it. Exams. Projects. Procrastinated studies. Massive parties over the weekend that immediately follows. They’re the signs of a waning semester. And alas, they’re the signs of a lack of articles from me and my minion George.
Before I begin this article, I should point out one thing: We slugs are mono-gender and asexual. There’s no boy, girl, man or woman. There is only slug.
It’s a difficult time to be an Alaskan film lover.
Commercials, ads, trailers and accolades are flying left and right for films like “Dallas Buyers Club.” They feature big-name actors in career-defining roles, telling complex, smart and tough stories. They’re showcases of how a fine film should be done.
In the spirit of Halloween, let me just say this: I am one of the most horrifying monsters in existence.
No, really, I am.
I am an alien monster who (occasionally) robs George of his free will and makes him do my bidding. He is a slave to me. And whenever I need or want his assistance, there’s no way he can disobey me.
George recently put his Permanent Fund Dividend into building himself a new PC to ring in the next generation of gaming. He’s confident it’s a fair bit more powerful than the new consoles coming out about a month from now. He’s prepared for the future. But if his recent gaming habits have anything to say, he’s still pretty stuck in the past.