Archive for the ‘Seawolf Slug’ Category

War strategies for finals

Well, men, this is it. The final, decisive battle. Your GPA hangs in the balance. This has been a long, grueling war, and the last battle is now upon us! Now it’s time to charge! FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!!! Actually, wait. We shouldn’t be charging in headfirst without some war strategies. I covered some of these at the […]

This smoking debate is insane

Okay, so let’s talk about the smoking thing. On one end, the “Smoke-Free UAA” campaign wants to end smoking on campus, leading to a healthier atmosphere for UAA. On the other, we have smokers who claim that being unable to smoke on campus is an infringement on their rights. Before I begin, let me just […]

Seawolf Slug: Why is cyberpunk interesting?

Over spring break (the incredibly boring and dull spring break, as outlined in last issue’s column), George indulged himself in two of his favorite games and one of his favorite movies: “Deus Ex,” “System Shock 2” and “Blade Runner,” respectively. It took me a while to figure out what these three works have in common, […]

Easy on the Lower 48, Alaska!

By Klax Zlubzecon Translated by George Hyde   Now that I think about it, Anchorage is the only place that I’ve ever been on Earth. It’s the only experience I’ve had on this planet and with humanity. Aside from the Internet, Anchorage is the only place I’ve ever been, and your people are the only […]

Net Neutrality and why people should care about it

One thing I’ve learned about George over these past few weeks since the Net Neutrality ruling is that whenever technology or arts are threatened by new laws or rulings, he starts becoming an argumentative version of the Incredible Hulk. He may not be able to formulate a witty retort to an argument from the other […]

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: We can’t handle real-life violence

Being a journalism major, George has to put up with a lot of crap from news outlets regarding his favorite hobby, gaming. He is constantly told by major news networks that his hobby has turned him into a blood-loving, misogynistic sociopath ready to massacre any school, movie theater or other venue of people gathering en masse.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: What exactly is a ‘game’?

As you could probably tell from the headline, a strange question has been wracking George’s brain for a few years. Several games such as “Journey,” “Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons,” and this issue’s review, “Continue?9876543210,” have tested the limits of what it really means to be a video game.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: Getting back in the swing of things

George cannot sleep.

No, I’m serious. I’m taking advantage of the fact that he’s up at 3:30 in the morning unable to sleep in order to have him translate this into writing. But the holiday break has done something terrible to my host.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: Finally, some rest

So now we come to the end of it. Exams. Projects. Procrastinated studies. Massive parties over the weekend that immediately follows. They’re the signs of a waning semester. And alas, they’re the signs of a lack of articles from me and my minion George.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: Learning to welcome the jam

Apparently this thing known as the “Great Alaska Shootout” is coming up, and the campus is abuzz about it. George says he couldn’t care less about sports, but the truth is, we see and appreciate sports everywhere.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: The Bechdel Test, and why you humans should take note

Before I begin this article, I should point out one thing: We slugs are mono-gender and asexual. There’s no boy, girl, man or woman. There is only slug.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: Alaskans can’t hear Oscar buzz

It’s a difficult time to be an Alaskan film lover.

Commercials, ads, trailers and accolades are flying left and right for films like “Dallas Buyers Club.” They feature big-name actors in career-defining roles, telling complex, smart and tough stories. They’re showcases of how a fine film should be done.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: It’s still too early for the holidays

Back in the early days of my friendship with George — that is to say, last month or so — he took me on a trip to Costco to run some errands. As he walked through the many aisles, I saw a bunch of nice, pretty, colorful lights surrounding festive animals and a fat man in a red and white coat. I asked in bewilderment what these wonderful things were, and George groaned and told me it was all about Christmas.

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Seawolf Slug: The abyss gazes also into you

In the spirit of Halloween, let me just say this: I am one of the most horrifying monsters in existence.

No, really, I am.

I am an alien monster who (occasionally) robs George of his free will and makes him do my bidding. He is a slave to me. And whenever I need or want his assistance, there’s no way he can disobey me.

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