Battling the Breakup: How soon is too soon?

Just following a breakup, we sometimes find ourselves moving onto the next special someone quicker than what may feel right. This can cause us to question where our feelings lie. In some cases, moving on quickly can be beneficial, but at other times, it can be quite dangerous to not only the new special someone but to our emotions as well.

The most important rule to remember: ensure that your new companion is more than a rebound but instead, a more desirable option.

Not only is it hurtful to use someone new as a rebound, but it is also potentially harmful to your emotions. Replacing a former with someone new can often be a way of filling an empty spot, which is not only unfair to your new lover but also to yourself unless you both know that the relationship is not being taken seriously.

Being with someone who reminds you of an ex is unhealthy yet we often find ourselves finding someone who brings back memories of past loves. Once a relationship ends, it should end forever. That is, however, unless both people are willing to make it healthily work. If that is not the case, completely erasing him or her from your mind is generally more beneficial to both parties in the end.

But it is normal to wonder: how soon is too soon?

Depending on the person and their personal need for dependence, moving on can occur immediately. In most cases, however, a gap between relationships offers the independence needed before moving on to the next person.

Take the time to reorganize your emotions so that you can benefit future relationships instead of ruin them. It is essential to give yourself a break in between relationships to tend to yourself instead of someone else. By doing so, you allow yourself a period of “rest and relaxation.”

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Taking up a beloved hobby or working on a new project can help you pass the time in between. Even just focusing on your job or schoolwork can take your mind off of the dating field for a little bit. Starting something new just following a breakup is beneficial because it allows you to gain personal gratification before finding someone new. Redirecting your focus on school and work will not only benefit you in your class or at your work environment, but it will also help pass the time and divert your attention from the so-called agony of being single.

Completely removing yourself from the dating field isn’t always the answer either. Sometimes dating other people, even numerous people, can help. Getting to know new people and spending time with others can help you redirect your feelings and decide what you want out of your next relationship. However, it is essential to let new dates know your intentions, so that they know you are not planning on commitment.

Advice can vary from person to person, depending on gender, breakups and personalities. Each person expects a different outcome following a breakup and we all respond differently to moving on. Some would rather move on to the next person directly after a breakup, while others would rather take some time for themselves, before once again re-committing themselves. While neither of these methods is incorrect, they simply prove that all people are different and expect different things post-breakup.

It is important no matter who you are and how your breakup results to always remember to move forward according to what feels right and makes sense. Trust not only your heart, but also your head, because together, they know best.