Why isn't there a movie that has a Grinch stealing the pants off of Valentine's Day? If somehow he could accomplish the task, I bet a lot of single, lonely sods would pay to see all the happy couples go manic depressive on the most lovey-dovey holiday of the year. But since there is no sign of a green man plotting sweet revenge in Anchorage, the day is coming regardless. So, for all the boys and girls spending V-Day crying over pictures of lost loves and playing Celine Dion on repeat, here are some tips to keep the chins up and minds off what's in the mailbox.
1. Escort Services–Over 40 venues in Anchorage offer dates that will hear all your life's miseries, grinning and nodding the whole way through. The talk of massage may slip into the conversation, and hey, with some places asking $140 to $230 an hour, you may need to loosen up with more than just talk about your cat. Ideal for those who are not on a Raman noodles dinner budget.
2. Bars/Buddy stuff– Go where everybody knows your name. Friends are just as capable of giving out love than anybody else and chances are you are not the only one skipping out of paying for dinner at Orso's. Beer specials and crowded bars may be the quick antidote, but not a solution for the love forlorn. Mixing #1 and #2 is extremely not recommended. 3. Rent a movie/Go out for a movie–Good: “Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Porky's I through V.” Bad: “Pretty Woman,” “You've Got Mail,” “Sleepless In Seattle” (duh, the Empire State Building scene!).
4. Family–Call up or drop in on mom and dad, Cousin Joey or Uncle Vic's. Any close relation fits the bill for a self-worth quick fix. Calling up every one you've ever dated during a drunken “dialies” session does not qualify.
5. Get over it!–There are plenty of Grinches in the sea by golly. The movie rights haven't been sold yet to a Valentine sequel by the way.