Yet even more whining about the shutdown

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Graphic by Roz Kirkelie

Stupid humans.

Stupid, stupid humans.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid humans.

I mean, seriously. What is this. WHAT IS THIS.

I want to send George down to the capitol to shake some sense into these people. Everyone wants to do that. According to polls, almost 90 percent of America wants to do that. And for once, I can’t blame them.

I’m hardly the latest voice to say this, but take it from an intergalactic hive mind regime, Congress. GROW THE %&#@ UP.

The Affordable Health Care Act passed. Big whoop. I’m not entering that massive rabbit hole of arguments and bickering over socialism and health care. That is done. What happened happened. Congress voted it through. And now you stop doing the jobs you were elected to do to throw a temper tantrum about it. Oh, and just in time to threaten our nation with default.

Is it really worth it, guys? Is it really worth destroying your economy just to spite a single bill? I mean, yeah, it’s flawed, but you know what else is flawed?

A FULL-FLEDGED GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN AND DEFAULT.

In case you didn’t notice, that kind of thing is a fair bit worse than socialized medicine.

Okay, Klax, calm down. You’re acting like a toddler, larval slug yourself. Slow, deep breaths. Ahhhhhh. There has to be some upside to this. Anything that unites the populace makes them more weak-willed, and thus easier to control. That’s good for us.

But there’s nothing good for you humans. And that’s terrible. And I feel sorry for that.

What depresses George, especially as a journalism major, is how U.S. news networks have been covering this whole ordeal. I already wrote a whole article about that kind of thing, but George finds it disturbing that nobody seems to care that there’s a looming default deadline coming up. It’s just the usual bickering between Fox News and MSNBC about health care.

It’s like talking about the “Breaking Bad” finale while one of our alien motherships fires its death ray upon New York. I mean, yeah, “Breaking Bad” is worth discussing, but you’re all about to die! Walter White’s quest can wait!

I don’t know if the debt ceiling crisis will be resolved by the time my words hit the newsstands, nor will I know if American news networks will come to their senses. But either way, it’s incredibly troubling.

I’m not saying it’s entirely the fault of anyone in particular, because it really is everyone’s fault. House Republicans can and will vote to reopen the government should the opportunity arise, as will Senate Democrats.

In this stalemate of wills between the leaders of two factions, the bystander syndrome being demonstrated by other members is kind of disgusting. If two rival gang leaders were lying and bleeding all over the street, you’d call 911, not just sit by, twiddling thumbs and tweeting about “Breaking Bad.”

And again, you all know this. Polls say a good 90 percent of you know this and accept this. So why can’t America’s representatives (elected by this good 90 percent) know or accept this?

Actually, no. It’s not the 90 percent who are getting our representatives elected. It’s the insurance companies. It’s the gigantic financial institutions. It’s the banks. It’s the people who have exploited capitalism for all its worth, and yet go crying to papa government when someone else wants to benefit from our system. It’s the people — on both sides, and in both houses — paying our representatives off to stay in this stupid gridlock.

I know it’s a stupid, juvenile “YOU’RE ALL AGAINST ME” kind of argument, but the truth behind it is undeniable. Look at Europe or Canada or even our own alien regime, and even a simple species like you can see the American government is absurdly broken and skewed. And I’d normally give some sort of Aesop or rallying speech about rising up and rebelling against tyranny, but well, look where that got America a couple centuries ago.

In a way, it’s a beautiful Shakespearean tragedy. America broke off from Britain in rebellion from tyranny. They set up a system that was completely free. And yet, evil forces still found a way to milk that system for all it was worth and control our country in a tyrannical way regardless.

He who fights monsters is doomed to become a monster himself.

But then again, you know what else rules in a tyrannical fashion? Our alien regime. And bless them for that.

There. Found something positive to say.

On that note, here’s that reminder of the week:

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. EMBRACE THE SEAWOLF SLUG.

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