Recently, while doing one of my daily (okay, okay…hourly) perusing on the iPhone app Pinterest, I came across a screen shot of a text message between friends in which a girl was giving her (I’m assuming) best guy friend some harsh, yet true, advice. The text message went something along the lines of this:
Girl: Just tell her.
Boy: I don’t understand how…I really like her.
Girl: Step One: Grow some balls and allow time for development.
Step Two: Approach said female.
Step Three: Talk to the f*&^%$# girl like a MAN.
All I have to say to this girl is…AMEN SISTER. As we go through life, it is inevitable that we will eventually become a part of situations in which being accepted or rejected is the primary method of response. When you apply for a job interview, you essentially are either a) qualified and asked back for a first or even second interview or, b) receive some type of correspondence letting you down gently (or harshly depending on where you apply).
How is it that we can somewhat easily put ourselves out there for something as serious as a potential career and/or life-changing position, yet, when it comes to asking a fellow individual on a date we suddenly choke?
While Internet dating and social networking sites have made it slightly easier to do this, I still am constantly bearing witness and lending ear to friends and associates’ stories in which the dooming cold sweat of possible rejection looms visibly on their faces. I understand it is not an easy task letting the person whom you are currently infatuated with know that this is so, but how else are they going to find out?
You could do something as crazy as hire a plane to write it in the sky but they would probably more or less categorize it as excessive and slightly creepy. One could also find said person on one of the more popular social networking sites and message them with an inquiry of a perchance rendezvous; this yet again, may come off a slightly creepy if you weren’t already friends or associated with same group.
I once had a boy search for me and ask me out only to find that he had no way of knowing my name by any associated friends, only that he once saw me downtown, a situation in which no words were ever shared between us, period. This, my friends, was an extreme case of creepiness.
That being said, I am in no way dejecting the use of the Internet in order to get your feelings across, but please be thoughtful in how you approach someone – if you don’t know them already or haven’t even spoken five words to them, stalking them on Facebook is greatly discouraged.
So, how to go about doing it? Well, you could always do it the old-fashioned way and slip them a note. Or you could simply strike up a conversation and slowly ease into the possibility of a second hangout session…maybe it’s a study group turned all-night conversation or consumption of beers at the Blue Fox, who knows?
The point is you will NEVER know unless you put yourself out there. Not all people are discourteous and unpleasant and the ones that reject you in that fashion, frankly, probably don’t deserve you anyway.
Keep your chin up Charlie, there’s way too many fish in the sea (especially with the male-to-female ratio in Alaska) for you to turn into a dating turtle – bust out of that shell, make yourself presentable and get out there!