Hey, hey you! Yeah you…you know who I’m talking to. So you think that you have what it takes to satisfy a girl huh? Ever had a girl tell you you’re the best they’ve ever had? Or make noises conjured up by you that could rival even the most experienced porn star? I’m sorry to hand it to you pal, but this may not always be the case. That girl, you know the one that said you were the forerunner in her top five of “most amazing mind-blowing sex ever” list? Well, more than likely she is lying and not because she wants to hurt you but rather she’s willing to tell you a lie to keep your ego up than to have to confess the truth of the matter and risk losing you in the process.
And ladies, don’t get me wrong here I’m not saying we ALWAYS do this Who’s to say that boys aren’t lying to us either? But what I would like to know is why? What is the point? Because it makes the other person feel better about himself or herself? Or because if we actually told our partner that what they are doing isn’t really up to par it is going to kill it for us altogether?
Over the past two weeks I have had approximately three different girlfriends come up to me stating variations of this scenario, one even willing to break up with her current interest due to the fact that he was unsatisfying in between the sheets. Now while I don’t necessarily recommend dismissing someone solely based on that, it isn’t completely unfathomable that something like this could, and would in her case, happen. Another friend told me that she would rather lie to her boyfriend to make him feel superior in the long run rather than burst his ego-bubble and risk the next go around to be even less satisfactory than before; while their “unions” aren’t completely boring, it just isn’t always what she is looking for. Another friend voiced that she has never even had a memorable experience with sex because she is too shy to speak up and tell her partner(s) what she would like and instead chooses to go with the flow rather than make things complicated or awkward later. WHAT! What is this? When did we as healthy procreating human beings suddenly lose our backbones? Why would one choose to have fake, boring sex with a person for the sake of one ego as opposed to overall mutual enjoyment by both? Hmm…orgasm-for-real or orgasm-for-show? I’ll take the real orgasm for 100 please. So what’s the solution you ask? The same solution it usually is at the end of my articles – COMMUNICATION. Thinking about dumping the boy because he can’t carry a vag-tastic tune? Tell him. You really like when a girl uses her hand when giving oral sex? Tell her. You’re not feeling the connection period but are sticking around because you enjoy their company? Tell them – maybe their skills just need a little tuning. With every activity comes practice, nobody said you were going to be amazing at it right off the bat and while some freakishly are, others have to admit they’re not and need to recognize this in order to hone in those skills for later gratifying coupling(s). Take the first step and speak up for yourself!
Sex doesn’t always need to be about orgasms and mind-blowing excitement but by golly: you should have at least one experience of this in your life!