The line between clingy guys always seems to be teetering on a line no wider than dental floss. Some say it’s sweet how in love they are, others say it’s awful being so obsessed, but what separates the two is solely decided on how far someone is willing to go to please a loved one.
In this specific case I am not referring to the boys that send you constant text messages when you are apart asking where you are and who you are with. Nor the boys that do a late night drive by to see if you are home safe where you told them you would be.
I am specifically talking about mama’s boys. The ones who, after all these years, still can’t seem to cut the umbilical cord and let go.
But as I mentioned before, there is a solid line between the two, and here are examples of each.
This previous Valentine’s Day, after a long day my significant other took me out for a bite to eat at our favorite little sushi restaurant before we headed over to his place to exchange gifts for our first V-Day. He gave me an incredibly soft and fuzzy blanket that I snuggle up in on a regular basis. In return I gave him a batch of four extra large, homemade cupcakes with a chocolate covered cherry atop cream cheese frosting.
Now, this may seem romantic, and it was, but the events that followed were what made me fall for him even more, and made me realize just how lucky I truly was.
The garage door opened up and he jumped out of his chair to greet his mother, who had just gotten home after a long day of work. With him he carried a bouquet of roses, which he handed to her and wished her a happy Valentine’s Day.
This gesture came across to me as incredibly sweet, an attempt to make his single mother feel loved on that day.
Since then, I have noticed other sweet things; he makes time to eat dinner with her, helps her with small tasks around the house without a complaint and even takes her to the movies.
All of the previously stated are, in my opinion, charming and caring, but when does it become too much?
Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine in her early twenties called me, in tears, to tell me the news about her latest relationship. What was once a happy relationship had come to a sad end when the man’s mother just didn’t approve of her
My friend, who for this we will call Sarah, then began frantically hashing out the details of the split.
Sarah is the mother of a handsome two-year-old boy. Like any decent single parent, she knew that at the age of 22 most men are not ready to become parents to a child that is not theirs. Therefore, she has never hidden the fact that she is a mother. Sarah was ecstatic when her boyfriend accepted both her and her child for who they were.
Eventually, the three of them set off to meet the boyfriend’s mother, a rather old fashioned Hispanic lady and the mother of seven. She began asking Sarah questions about her previous relationship with the baby’s father.
His mother was fine with the situation until she asked why she was not wed to the child’s father. Sarah’s answer was simple, that her ex ended up not being the man she thought he was. He put both her and her child in danger, and she did what was best for the both of them.
The mother just wouldn’t have it, and proceeded to call Sarah several choice names before kicking her out of the house and forbidding her from ever returning or seeing her son.
This put Sarah’s boyfriend in a hard place. Disobey his mother, or forget Sarah and move on? He chose the latter.
After thirty minutes of Sarah sobbing and raving furiously over the phone to me, she called him a mama’s boy. I agreed.
What was the difference between the man who broke one of my dearest friend’s heart and my own man? They are both mamas’ boys but one is exceedingly caring yet still remains an independent adult, while the other has been whipped into submission and allows his mother to make all of his life’s decisions for him.